to the project: Love Maps!
Those who weren’t lucky enough to grow up with parents who could genuinely love each other and got along really well with each other, i.e. who come from a family where a good face was put on bad game or who even had to have a „ghost train experience“. , or if you only had one parent, you first have to learn how to create successful relationships.
It will seldom succeed automatically; but through the cracks in the ‚battered china‘ comes awareness and light.
Limbic imprinting quietly ensures that relationship patterns are passed on. It is a biological adaptation mechanism invented by nature for „paradise“ to replicate survivability goodness. Unfortunately, this sharing also works with trauma patterns. In contrast to animals, however, humans are able to change unfavorable imprints.
Trauma burdens love and families and leaves behind quarrels and destruction, which always lives on transgenerationally, until a couple raises this topic to consciousness. Love is everything – and I am here on earth for love – to learn and teach all about it.
love is like oxygen
After I had attended a birth preparation course myself, which did not come close to conveying what every pregnant woman should know (psychological aspects were not mentioned and side effects of possible interventions were concealed), I finally designed my own course, which, among other things, teaches the method Birth-into-Being of body and breath work. I have been offering these birth weekends since 2012. Questions about couple dynamics also came up more and more frequently.
One of my important loves in this life failed – and a couples therapy, which didn’t deserve the name, acted horribly as a fire accelerator… I would have liked to have used what I offer today myself back then! The ingenious concept of trauma-sensitive couple therapy is the life’s work of Dr. Katharina Klees, which sets a new standard for counseling couples. A complex system of questionnaires, worksheets and sketches is worked on and evaluated with the couple. The method is scientific and has been tried and tested. Within 10 compact hours, the couple receives lasting help and gets clarity and a boost.
The fog of feelings clears
Trauma-sensitive counseling for couples looks at survival strategies from early childhood, possible developmental trauma, entanglements in the family system (wrong loyalties/triangulations), relationship skills, etc. Transgenerational trauma, originating from the experiences of our ancestors in the world wars, are seen and can be resolved. All this in an appreciative atmosphere, accompanied by body therapy bioenergetic interventions, the exclusive couples‘ weekends are a blessing – because couples and families in need get professional help quickly – and things that they can implement immediately at home!
My original profession is a designer and my vocation is to inspire the creation of beauty and peace in partnerships: between man and woman and in bringing children into the world. (Both worlds: design and couples counseling– are not as far apart as it might first seem: They are both about conveying messages on different levels of communication, about appropriateness and beauty.)
I am an advocate for self-determined childbirth and a trauma-sensitive couples counselor. I am concerned with common sense, emotional competence, clarity, truthfulness, integrity and the beauty that is found when the red thread of love becomes visible, which nourishes closeness and safety, connection, a balance of give and take, meaningfulness and appreciation.
Yours, Bele Ducke
Degrees: Trauma-sensitive couples counselor i. A. (2022 Completion of certification as a trauma consultant for Trauma-sensitive couples therapy of the German Society for Psychotraumatology / Dr. Klees’s Academy); Birth into Being Facilitator (Elena Tonetti) Graduated designer, UdK Berlin Master of Fine Arts; California Institute of the Arts, Los Angeles
Advice also possible in German